Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I know... I know...

I know the old saying "Life ain't fair!" But I'm really feeling that life just isn't fair!!!

Tomorrow morning, one of my cousins is getting marriend for the SECOND time in about 3 years.  Now don't get me wrong... her first marriage needed to end.  She had health issues and her "husband" decided it was just too much for him to deal with.  It was something that couldn't have been determined before they got married so it's not like she could have told him about it before hand.  However, where is the fairness in this?  Her second marriage in 3 years at 26 years old and I'm 47 (almost 48) years old and have never been married!!!!  What the H*** did I do wrong with my life (or past life) to deserve this?  Not only never married, but only had one "meaningful" relationship (and at this point I'm reconsidering how meaningful that really was).

Not only this, but I have another cousin that is also preparing for her second marriage as well.  She is 35 years old.  I don't know what happened to her first marriage, but again...FAIR?  I don't think so.

The one thing on my side is that on my Dad's side of the family there are 4 grandchildren (granddaughters).  Three of the 4 are married (guess who isn't!!!!).  However, 2 of the 3 are now divorced (one preparing for her second marriage, the other working on another relationship) and one not sure where her marriage is going.  I'm the only one of the 4 that hasn't had to deal with any of that.

I guess I should be thankful for the little things.

Friday, December 18, 2009

WOW... and not in a good way

I just expressed some feelings to a friend and got a reaction that was so totally unexpected I'm stunned. 

I didn't expect them to necessarily agree with the way I was feeling, but I was basically told to shut up and mind my own business unless there was something I could do to change it.  It brought me to tears (and still is) because I was made to feel like I'm nothing but a rumor monger by even telling them about it. 

I am in shock.  As each day goes by I'm seeing more and more about this person that just makes me wonder why I am so attached.  As they say, people change and in the 4-1/2 years I've known this person there has definitely been a change.  I just wish I was a stronger person and could stand up to them the way they stand up to me.